Sharmaks asks
What exactly is meant by Ishwararpana Buddhi and Prasada Buddhi, if we are not the Karta or the Bhoktha respectively?
Karmas are part and parcel of one's life. When one does karmas with some expected results, then he or she does karma. When the same karmas are done and the results (desired or otherwise) are accepted ,then it becomes karma yoga. Karmas done with this attitude are meant as done with aparna buddhi and accepting any result of that karma is prasada buddhi. One, who is a Jnani (having the self knowledge) is neither a kartha nor a boktha , while a karma yogi, who is still an Ajnani, will have karthirthvam and bokthirthvam.
Lokanathan asks
Why is death painful for the survivors of the dead person?
When a dear and near is dead, the feeling of the surviving members comes out in crying or beating the chest or in some form. It is universally accepted that venting out the feeling On the loss of a close friend or relative as good. Otherwise, the bottled up pain will harm the person both physically and mentally.
During Mahabharata war,when Abhimanyu was killed, Subhadra wept over his body. Lord Krishna tried to console her. Being a brave kshtriya lady, she was boasting that her son would get veer swargam, if he was not successful. Bhagavan reminded her words and told her not to weep over the loss.Then Subhadra replied that it was not the Kshtriya lady weeping, but the mother.
Exhibiting the grief by the surviving family members is natural and is accepted in our tradition and culture.
In some places, why do people dance and have music in funeral procession? Is death a happy event?
The music and dance in a funeral procession is definitely not acceptable (not in scriptures). It gives a wrong signal as though the people are happy for the departed soul. Perhaps this custom is present only in some communities in south India. This is not found in north India.